Nov 16

“Whistle, whistle,whistle, whis…”
“What the hell are you doing?” Jenn asked walking closely behind me. She had
popped out of nowhere. Probably trying to scare me like always. I really don’t
know why she finds that fun. I could already see it on her face that she was
disappointed. She wasn’t going to scare me today. We continued walking together.
Her barefoot, with her heels in her hand and me with my sparkling gold pumps on.
No matter how they hurt, I wasn’t going to take them off and ruin the whole
ensemble. The first time in a long time that I’ve worn heels and i wasn’t going
to let a little pain ruin the whole look. I’ve been through worse. No more
“I don’t know how to whistle. Never learned. Instead I just whistle and try to
tune it with a song I like.” Jenn just looked at me with her quizzical one
eyebrow up. She looks like the damn Rock. I keep on telling her to stop, it’s annoying
but no. She has to keep up with it because she knows it bothers me. She burst
out laughing and says in her best Dominican accent “Tu ta LOCA!” I laugh right
along with her. “Whistle, whistle, whistle.” Today I’ll be happy.
Her apartment was just around the corner. She could walk the rest of the way by
“I’ll talk to you in the morning lady. I’m gonna go catch the train”
“What?! It’s 4am, you’re gonna leave now! Have Kevin pick you up. I know you guys are having troubles right now but
he wouldn’t want you riding the train at this time. Sleep over if you want to.”
“No, Jenn, it’s ok. I wanna be alone. You worry too much, I’ll be fine. Te veo
manana lady. Muah.”
“At least send me a text once you get home. YEAH, Yeah I’m gonna be sleeping but just do it ok. I’ll
feel better once I get up seeing your text.” She has me giggling. Always
“Ok lady. Ok.”
“I know how you are. You’re gonna forget. Prometame que lo vas hacer!”
“I promise. Cross my heart. Now go home and sleep. I’ll see you later. Ciao.”
She smiles before walking away. I love her smiles. They’re so huge. Makes me
feel like she smiles for the both of us. Not anymore. I can smile for myself.
Now and always from now on.
Walking down the stairs to the subway I feel sexy and confident. Ever since Kevin came along that went out the
window. I’m happy though. No more bruises. It’s been a long time since I’ve thrown
on my party outfit. Barely covering my ass and showing off every curve of my
body, glowing white asymmetrical dress with one long sleeve, wearing a simple
gold necklace that has a pendant dagger. To top it all of I put on the red
lipstick that always reminded me of blood. What a lovely color red was, had so
many meanings. The color of love and the color of death. I guess they go hand
in hand.
I hit the bottom of the stairs and see there’s no one in sight. That’s a shame,
there’s no one to look at me. Oh well, maybe va haber alguien en el tren. The
tracks are rattling. The train is coming. The train is so dependable, always my
buddy. Can just think and think and not have to worry about anybody. The doors
open and enter to sit in an empty cart. Todavia nadie, that sucks. Whatever, I got
enough stares at the party. The men definitely appreciated what they got to see.
Who in the world would want to damage this body? Fuck that, never again.
Doors close and the train starts to move. Staring at the tunnels passing by is enchanting. The garbage, graffiti,
construction sites. It’s all so chaotic, brings me back to the club. That guy
was so, god knows what his name was but he was just sooo…intoxicating.

“You see that guy over there, by the couch?” Jenn yelled so I could hear above the music. I looked in
her direction while seeping a rum and coke and saw a 6 feet tall guy. He looked
Filipino with a tan. He wore a red WESC fitted cap with a white t-shirt, not so
baggy and not so tight dark blue jeans and white Nike uptowns. This boy was
staring right at me and smiling.
“Yea, you know him?”
“No, but I’m sure he wants to know you!” Jenn laughs while giving me a little nudge. “Go flirt
and get us some drinks.” I stare at her with the hugest smile on my face. I’m
happy. I give her my drink and start walking towards to him. My steps are
following the beat of the techno music which is elevating my confidence.

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2 comments so far

  1. 1 michelle
    11:00 pm - 11-16-2011

    I like where this is going. Just one advice I have for you, in the first paragraph, i felt that you were repeating the part about being scared to much, that’s just how i feel..Otherwise good work so far

  2. 2 jenny abeles
    7:28 pm - 11-29-2011

    hi Monica. So, these are both promising pieces of writing so far–are they going to be woven together into one story, or are they meant to be separate? Could it be the same main female character, one who has obviously known trauma and hard times?

    Although both of these stories deal with darker aspects of life, I like how they also include so many smiles, such laughter and joking, reminding us that it’s never just one or the other, that even hardship and happiness go hand in hand because life is so complex and inscrutable. Both moods strike a realistic chord in your writing, and I like the dialogue, especially the Spanglish bits (not all of wch I understood, but whatever, I’d read this story anyway.)

    You have a nice way of revealing character, both through externals, such as clothing, and internal musing. If you can continue to develop and flesh out these characters, exploring new ways of doing so, you will master that magic of making flesh and blood out of nothing but words.

    Is the last paragraph of “I Dare Ya” a flashback, or is the narrative unfolding chronologically? Dp you know how this story will unfold, what the story is, and how you will tell it? You have my interest, and I’m curious about where this is going–so keep up the good work!

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